The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new pair of expensive imported panties. "After all, dear," she said to her husband, "You wouldn't expect to find fine perfume in a cheap bottle, would you?"

"No," her husband replied. "Nor would I expect to find gift wrapping on a dead beaver."

Hell-o and welcome to the unearthing of GIRLS AND CORPSES -- "the world's first comedy magazine about death." You know you've been thinking about it... dreaming about it... well now, here it finally is! Why Girls and Corpses, you ask? Well, if you're like me, you like two things, beautiful girls and rotting corpses. So, I thought, why not bring these two great tastes together in one magazine? Girls & Corpses is sort of like Maxim Magazine meets Dawn Of The Dead. There are pictures in each issue of beautiful, scantily clad young beauties posing with hideous, decaying, festering corpses. Also, we have interviews, comic book art, music and movie reviews and other mayhem. What could be better?

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

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This one New Yorker married himself a southern gal and brought her to the big city for the first time. When they first arrived he got them a hotel room and as they were laying in bed she looked over in the corner and saw a discarded condom, "Oh yuck!!" she proclaimed as she pointed it to her new husband

As he craned his neck to see what it was he looked at her and asked "What they don't use those things where you come from?"

"Yeah," she said "but we don't skin 'em!"

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1: She Starts Preening: This is otherwise known as ensuring that she is looking her best. Standing up straighter, tucking in their tummies, and pushing out their breasts are spontaneous and instantaneous gestures that women are interested. This will be followed by smoothing her skirt or dress, playing with hair and jewellery, and then disappearing to the ladies room for a once over. Adjusting and checking on appearances is a great sign of body language flirting. If you catch her checking out your butt when you are on the way to the bar, or she starts fixing her hair when you turn your back, you know she is interested sexually.

4: Body Posture: The flirting woman has her shoulders pulled back and her breasts thrust forward. One hand placed on a sexily jutting hip is a flirting signal for you to join her. Placing a hand on the back of a hip can also be a gesture to place emphasis on her tiny waist. Arching her spine into the shape of a ‘C’ displaying both her breasts and bottom is body language flirting, inviting you to check her out. A strongly sexual body language signal is when she starts to lean forward bringing her arms in closer to her body, pressing her breasts together and deepening her cleavage.

8: Does she want to kiss you? If she is doing any of these then the answer is probably YES! Licking her lips. When faced with something arousing everyone licks his or her lips. Eating and drinking suggestively, sucking and licking fingers. All ways of advertising their talents. Keeps touching her mouth. Everyone’s lips become engorged when we get turned on, making us more conscious of them and more likely to play with them. Putting her head close to yours: This is nearly always an invitation to kiss. Tilting her head: Getting into position on a subconscious level.